Because I could not stop for Death –
He kindly stopped for me –
— Emily Dickinson

i am planning ahead.

Being proactive in our end-of-life preparations can help us to fully engage in the present and can serve as a gift to loved ones once we’re gone. This page will familiarize you with the people and the paperwork typically involved with end-of-life planning. But most of all, we hope these resources will lead to open dialogue and encourage you to plan what you can!

Here to Honor regularly holds events and workshops with end-of-life planning and preparation in mind.

To learn more about a range of topics, visit our Events and End-of-Life Learning pages or browse the back issues of our newsletter for inspiration and personal examples of end-of-life learning in our community.

  • Let’s begin by taking stock of all the people, pets, possessions, and property to be considered. To this aim, we've included a worksheet to assist in the “personal inventory” process and some recommended resources below:

    Download our “Personal Inventory Worksheet

    National Institute on Aging provides a comprehensive checklist of everything to consider in getting your affairs in order.

    Clocr is a platform that provides a digital vault as well as digital estate planning services.

    1Password offers password storage and management.

    The Nokbox is a filing organization system that helps keep all your important information and paperwork in one place.

  • Advance care planning makes your preferences regarding medical treatments and interventions clear. This involves designating a “healthcare proxy”—someone to speak on your behalf in the event you are incapacitated and unable to make medical decisions—and completing paperwork that differs by state.

    The Conversation Project provides great prompts and guidance for discussing final wishes with your family and friends.

    CaringInfo provides free advance directive forms and instructions for each state.

    Five Wishes helps with organizing personal, spiritual, medical, and legal wishes all in one advance care package.

  • Estate planning is most commonly thought of as a will or a trust but is actually a much more comprehensive approach to your possessions, properties, finances, and legacy.

    Cake provides more information on estate planning overall as well as further explanation of wills and trusts.

    There are many online options for creating your own will. Trust & Will is one such platform that allows you to create a personalized estate plan.

    HTH is happy to provide NYC-based estate planning lawyer recommendations upon request. You can email us to make a connection.

  • Giving thought to the practical matters after you die and discussing your preferences with others makes it more likely your final wishes will be honored, and lessens the pressure on loved ones in making the arrangements. Some questions to consider:

    • How would you like your body to be handled (any rituals—such as washing—to perform, a desire to be kept at home, or immediately donated to science, etc)?

    • What about your remains? Burial and cremation are most prevalent, but there are other options, including eco-friendly methods.

    • Would you like a commemorative event such as a funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life?

    • If yes, where would you like it to take place: funeral home, place of worship, private residence, or venue of special significance?

    • Do you have any ceremonial preferences such as selected music, readings, prayers, poems, performers, acknowledgments, religious or cultural rituals, etc.?

    • Who would you like to officiate? To attend (or not attend), to deliver your eulogy?

    • If you plan to be buried or cremated, would you like to purchase a plot or pay for services in advance?

    • Are you able to set aside funds for your funeral?

  • In addition to financial and material possessions, we can also consider the legacy we want to leave behind.

    One way of doing this is by writing an ethical will. This differs from a legal will because it speaks to family history and stories, life lessons, spiritual values, memories, best wishes or individual blessings. An ethical will can also bequest items of sentimental value or personal keepsakes such as articles of clothing, photographs and family recipes.

    Here is a useful online worksheet to help you start an ethical will.